Chicken Birthday Party!

Great fun was had by all at the chickens' birthday party on Easter Sunday. Neighborhood kids came by to pet the hens, and after the kids went home the grown-ups fired up the cotton candy machine and ate airy blobs of sugar until they were all quite sick. There was a chicken race up the driveway, and (not surprisingly) the Leghorn won. They're quick and wily. The Whig Party posed for this photo in her jaunty birthday hat, and said, "If Millard Fillmore could see me now!"

Painting the Roses Red

The chicken coop got a new coat of paint last weekend, and there has been plenty of squawking about it. The leghorns preferred the pure white base coat, and there were murmurs of favoritism from the Rhode Island Reds when the red paint was applied. The Rhode Islands were certainly pleased with the final result, with the exception of Old Paint who clucked that she preferred the previous finish. Only a few chickens were painted in the process.

The Blue Egg Project

Neil Young is proud to announce the arrival of her long awaited Blue Egg Project. Industry insiders predicted its release last October, but that release date was delayed time and time again while the hen went into seclusion. "I'm most creative when I have time to be alone and gather my thoughts. That's when my artistic genius flourishes." Sources say the delay wasn't entirely the artist's fault. They pointed to the production crew that surrounded the hen with their not-so-helpful advice on The Project.

Pre-production snafus dragged on through the snowy months, leading some insiders to declare the project would never see the light of day. Insider tidbits leaked out about the work in progress, including one rumor that The Project had been cursed by a bitter former employee of Young's, but that was denied by the hen's publicist.

After many tantrums, some strong-arming by industry executives, and lots of well wishing by fans, the Blue Egg Project finally hit the shelves in March. Come on down to the Masala co-op and get your copy today!

The New Chicken Steward

A new chicken steward was appointed this week, replacing that shifty Daji the Fox. The new steward promises that he will not leave his post, even for a moment, but will stay fixed in that same spot, scanning the horizon for predators, listening to the sweet sound of chicken clucks and thinking about the meaning of life. All he asks is that we periodically bring him gifts of quinoa and hippie slop stir-fry when he gets hungry. Maybe some popcorn with nutritional yeast on it for a special treat.

Caught Red Pawed

Daji the Fox was removed from her post as chicken steward when a hole was discovered on the far side of the run. It appeared as though a clever animal of some sort moved several of the large rocks that hold down the chicken wire that surrounds the coop before attempting to tunnel under it. When asked how such a breach of security could have happened on her watch, Daji appeared to be full of dismay.

"I'm not sure how this happened. I patrol the perimeter every day, looking for a way in. For a way in that someone else may have been trying to dig, that is, and then to stop them. I just can't believe you found this hole a mere day before it would have been complete... I mean, I can't believe I didn't find this hole and put a stop to this, as would have been required by my job description."

In these hard economic times it may be unlikely that Daji will be hired anywhere else in the near future, given her spotty work history.

"I may just volunteer my time here for a while, until I get my resume together. You know, just keep an eye on things to make up for what happened."

She licked her lips and looked really, really sad, so the co-opers said it would be ok for her to chill for a while in Kalalau until she got a job somewhere else.

"You gotta pay the $90, though," an officious looking co-oper said.

"No problem, but can I, uh, give you an IOU, for now? I'm a little behind on my bills this month."

"Ok, but expect a late charge. And do your own dishes. I don't care if you don't have opposable thumbs."