The unthinkable has happened. Yet another hen has met an untimely end. This time it was Deirdre McCluckskey, the last of the Rhode Island Reds. A witness to her final moments had this to say:
"This morning she looked weak. She was breathing heavy and was lying in the dirt in the way back, underneath the coop. She wouldn't come out when I fed them, so I went back and looked in on her this afternoon and found her almost dead. I said to her, 'Who did this to you? Who is the killer?' She mumbled something, too quietly for me to hear, so I leaned in and heard her say, weakly, with her last breath, 'Rosebud.' I was stunned. I mean, I didn't even know she was a fan of Orson Welles, although I guess it makes sense given the film's themes of economics, power and ethics."
The witness sighed, then cast a wary glance in the direction of the six remaining hens before she bundled up Deirdre's body and left the coop. None of the hens made eye contact with her, but busied themselves instead with pecking each other and pooping on the last few remaining patches of clean snow. After the witness was gone, Mech Warrior climbed up to the highest perch and was heard cackling ominously to herself, "House Liao is ascendant!"
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