It happened to me, too!

Emboldened by Deirdre's abduction story, MechWarrior stepped forward today with a similar tale, lending credence to what most had dismissed as a wild fabrication.

"It happened a few weeks ago," Mech Warrior said. "This time, they came during the day instead of at night, and snatched me right out of the run. Either the other hens didn't notice, or the aliens had some of those Men In Black wands they waved around to make everyone forget what they'd seen... Come to think of it, both aliens were wearing black!" MechWarrior's agitation noticeably increased as she continued her tale. "They took me into their pod and put me on a cold white examining table, more like a bin actually, with a drain... I shudder to think what the drain was for..."

"Go on, go on!" Deirdre said.

"Then... one of the aliens held be down by the neck... and the other... did things to my... my..." here her voice dropped an octave... "my egghole!"

Deirdre and the others hens gasped.

"I don't know what they were doing back there, but it took them a long time. I tried to escape once, but they captured me again." MechWarrior fluffed up her feathers and stamped around a bit. "They're lucky I wasn't wearing my Power Armor with HarJel. I would've zapped them with my Jump Jets! They should know better than to mess with a MechWarrior from the House of Liao!"

"What happened next?" Deirdre said, egging her on.

"Well, then they took out this weird silver lazer thing, and blasted my rump with it! I was suddenly flushed with heat. And embarrassment. Luckily after that they let me go back home."

Mr. Pants happened to be scratching for worms nearby and looked up at MechWarrior. "Hey, what happened to your poop?"

"What poop?" MechWarrior said.

"That poop stuck to your butt feathers. You've been dragging it around all month."

"Oh, that poop... It's not there anymore? They've taken it! They've taken my poop! It's not just the neighbors wanting it for their compost, now the aliens are after it too." MechWarrior looked bewildered and proud at the same time. She muttered something about DNA samples and cloning, and then got distracted by a corn cob that was thrown into the run.

"Corn! Corn! Corn!" was her final statement on the matter.

Bollyweird Aliens

Deirdre McCluckskey claims she was abducted by aliens last Friday, and her comments caused quite a stir in a coop already shaken by allegations of ghosts and zombies.

"They came in the night and snatched me while I was sleeping," she said. "There were bright lights and strange sounds... and... and... they put me in this little cage and put me on this table... There were aliens with big eyes and even bigger hair and they all gathered around me and... did... strange things..."

A clique of believers gathered around the hen, eager for more details, while some of the other hens were quite skeptical. Dierdre is more known for her right-leaning economic theories than for wild tales of supernatural occurrences (although the two are sometimes synonymous, such as in the case of "trickle-down" economics), but she didn't let the naysayers ruffle her feathers. Although she seemingly lacks the empirical evidence she would need to prove her point (not that this bothers most economists, most notably Alan Greenspan), Deirdre was undeterred in her tale-telling. "There was one alien who said he was going to come again in the night and turn our coop into a frothel and casino! I don't know what that means, but we'd better watch out. Next time they rest of you may not be so lucky. They could beam us all up into the light and... and... probe our egg holes while they do their weird alien dances!"

Lee Smith chuckled to himself in the corner.

MechWarrior looked alarmed.