Bollyweird Aliens

Deirdre McCluckskey claims she was abducted by aliens last Friday, and her comments caused quite a stir in a coop already shaken by allegations of ghosts and zombies.

"They came in the night and snatched me while I was sleeping," she said. "There were bright lights and strange sounds... and... and... they put me in this little cage and put me on this table... There were aliens with big eyes and even bigger hair and they all gathered around me and... did... strange things..."

A clique of believers gathered around the hen, eager for more details, while some of the other hens were quite skeptical. Dierdre is more known for her right-leaning economic theories than for wild tales of supernatural occurrences (although the two are sometimes synonymous, such as in the case of "trickle-down" economics), but she didn't let the naysayers ruffle her feathers. Although she seemingly lacks the empirical evidence she would need to prove her point (not that this bothers most economists, most notably Alan Greenspan), Deirdre was undeterred in her tale-telling. "There was one alien who said he was going to come again in the night and turn our coop into a frothel and casino! I don't know what that means, but we'd better watch out. Next time they rest of you may not be so lucky. They could beam us all up into the light and... and... probe our egg holes while they do their weird alien dances!"

Lee Smith chuckled to himself in the corner.

MechWarrior looked alarmed.

Lee Smith

I'm Lee Smith. I'm a Black Star hen. I have a masters degree in Physics and you can sometimes catch me in a top hat masquerading as Jonas P. Wilkerson. I flew the coop last year and took off to Hawaii, but now I'm safely back in Masala's yard where I enjoy eating the eggs of my fellow hens. Probably because I have this degree in physics, I'm the only chicken who figured out the ideal beak trajectory necessary to break open an egg in fewer than five pecks. You simply take the square root of the diameter of the egg at its widest point and adjust for variables such as the outside atmospheric pressure and the thickness of the shell based on the calcium intake of the hen in question, then multiply that by the length of the vector between the point of my beak and the meridian of the eggshell. You can easily tell me apart from the other Black Stars because I always wear this orange anklet.

P.S. I have the deed!