The Whig Party

Hello. I'm The Whig Party. I support the supremacy of congress over the executive branch and I think Andrew Jackson is a dangerous maverick on horseback with a reactionary opposition to the forces of social, economic and moral modernization. In my spare time I like to jump on the backs of other chickens while they're laying eggs and when I get tired of that I corner Deirdre and talk right-wing politics. I'm a Rhode Island Red and I'm fairly uniform in color, with just a bit of white around my ruff.

Deirdre McCluckskey

I'm Deirdre McCluckskey. I'm a transgendered economist extraordinaire with undergraduate and graduate degrees from Harvard University. My latest book, The Bourgeois Virtues: Ethics for an Age of Commerce, is the first of a projected four-volume magnum opus. I'm combs and wattles above the rest of these dumb clucks. You can tell me apart from the other Rhode Island Reds by the distinctive white mottling all down my back.

Old Paint

I'm Old Paint. I stand out from the other Rhode Island Reds because I have beautifully distinctive white feathers in the ruff around my neck. Also, the feathers on my body are darker red than the other hens. I have a small shotgun that I keep in my cubby to ward off the other chickens who might want to eat my eggs. Nobody messes with Old Paint.

Penelope (Penny)

Hi! My name is Penelope. You can call me Penny. I'm a Rhode Island Red and I'm the friendliest of all the chickens. You can pick me up and not worry about getting your eyes pecked out or getting slapped in the face with a wing. You can easily tell me apart from the other Rhode Island Reds because I'm the one that's the lightest, most uniform red. I've got a few small spots of white on my rump and, unlike the other Reds, I don't have any white feathers in the ruff around my neck.